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Thread: Pedophobes

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    Default Pedophobes

    Ok, I just saw a post on facebook about homophobes are the problem, transphobes are the problem, etc etc. And that got my odd brain thinking. Are people pedophobes? Why not? Or is it only because it is socially justified to be against pedophilia that people aren't pedophobes? Seems to be that some of the harshest critics of pedophilia are the ones most likely to be pedos themselves when it comes to the ultra religous. But I think most would almost proudly call themselves pedophobes.

    And yes before anyone starts, I know there is a difference between hebephile and infantfile and all the rest in technical terminology. I am using the common use term of pedophilia and not the scientific term. Pedo- as in, anyone who creeps on minors.

    I guess that is really the question. Is it just social acceptance that justifies calling people the name of word+phobe? And deeper yet, does labelling and shaming anyone as a phobe ever do any good? It just seems to be a way of isolating and calling out someone.
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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    What the fuck?

    It doesn't make you phobic to think forcing yourself on children is wrong. You're comparing that to people who are ignorant of adults making adult decisions and engaging in consensual intercourse, or changing their bodies?

    This is fucked up even for you.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    I am sorry, that isn't really my point. I get there is a huge f'n difference. Maybe there is no real way to explain it.

    If it's really that confusing feel free to delete. I am not looking to offend.
    Last edited by Theend; 05-18-2017 at 02:30 PM.
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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    I'll leave it for now in case I am totally missing the point but I doubt much discussion will come of it.

    Sorry for cursing, I had a frustrating day at work. I stand by what I said though.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Completely understood.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Quote Originally Posted by Theend View Post
    I am sorry, that isn't really my point. I get there is a huge f'n difference. Maybe there is no real way to explain it.

    If it's really that confusing feel free to delete. I am not looking to offend.
    Is what you are trying to say is that they cannot help their desires, therefore we shouldn't judge them for having the feelings, but only if they act on them?

    I get the point, but I would still have a phobia of a person with the urge to shoot people, even if he didn't. It's the intent that causes the fear and resentment.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    An aspect of pedophilia is manipulation, taking advantage of their prey because no childs brain is fully formed at that age.

    People entering into gay relationships, trans relationships etc are more often then not adults, fully aware of the decisions their making with no significant manipulation.


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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    @RT feel free to shut it down and delete. I don't think anyone is getting the bizarre rand thought I had and maybe the thought wasn't developed enough to share.


    It was all about the idea of labelling people phobes not about the difference in homosexuality and pedophilia
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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Phobias are irrational aversions to something. It's not irrational to be averse to pedophiles.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    odd thing I just learned that pedophobe is a term used for people afraid of children.
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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    To steer this in a new direction...Do you think if society was more willing to talk about pedophelia in a way where the first words out of peoples mouth wasn't "shoot um" or "castrate the perverts" that maybe these people could maybe seek help without quite the degree of shame? I mean you have a lot of groups that deal with coping with diseases and addictions and it can be done in a free and open way and society says yes it's cool because these people are trying to cope and conquer their problems in a positive way, maybe if people were the same about pedophelia maybe child abuse rates would go down? I don't know, i'm just asking. Pedophelia seems like the one topic where even if you want to get help to at least learn to suppress those desires that it doesn't matter, your still viewed as a monster pervert. Obviously if you have acted on those impulses then yeah you are a monster in my book but thoughts and actions are two different thing. If a person realizes they have an attraction to children but they do everything in their power to learn to cope and live a fairly normal life without hurting anybody, is that person still a perverted monster for the thought?

    Just thought I'd pose the question.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Absent from your theory are two things that I think are important -

    Addiction treatment only comes after use. So if pedophiles started using treatment like drug addicts it would come after they've abused a child.

    Treatment for addiction typically only comes with a push, like criminal charges or child abuse charges.

    So I don't think a lot of people would go get treatment for something they have never done and most addicts don't seek treatment until forced, so I don't think that a more accepting world leads to people voluntarily heading to the "Pastor John Clinic for the Sexually Frustrated" before they perp on a kid.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    @mikec that is assuming you have to be an adult who abused a child to start being a pedophile right? Not that pedophiles are just a person who like most of us grew an attraction to people their age but the age they were attracted to never advanced.

    I would feel safe in saying at 14 years old we were all attracted to other 14 yr olds. As we aged we no longer were attracted to 14 yr olds. But a pedophile does not develop the same way. They stay retarded with the age they are attracted to. So in your analogy they started using when they were having their first sexual attractions. And could seek counseling.


    Plus considering the number of pedos who are actually victims of childhood sexual assault that have never developed proper mentalities towards relationships. Both loving and sexual, I would say they need help and treatment under at least the psychological level. With the embracing of mental illness it is surprising how narrow minded people still are to some brain malfunctions.
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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Quote Originally Posted by Theend View Post
    @mikec that is assuming you have to be an adult who abused a child to start being a pedophile right? Not that pedophiles are just a person who like most of us grew an attraction to people their age but the age they were attracted to never advanced.

    I would feel safe in saying at 14 years old we were all attracted to other 14 yr olds. As we aged we no longer were attracted to 14 yr olds. But a pedophile does not develop the same way. They stay retarded with the age they are attracted to. So in your analogy they started using when they were having their first sexual attractions. And could seek counseling.


    Plus considering the number of pedos who are actually victims of childhood sexual assault that have never developed proper mentalities towards relationships. Both loving and sexual, I would say they need help and treatment under at least the psychological level. With the embracing of mental illness it is surprising how narrow minded people still are to some brain malfunctions.
    No my assumption isn't you become a pedophile after you abuse, you've made more than enough variations on this topic for me to know what you're talking about.

    My argument was that you can't compare mental health treatment for pedophilia to treatment for drugs or alcohol because a majority of the people in treatment for those things A) were using before they got treatment and B) Are required to participate due to employment, family or criminal obligations. In other words, drug treatment doesn't usually start before you do drugs.

    I have no problem with the basic idea that there are people attracted to children so long as they never act on that impulse, and I would love if everyone got treatment for those impulses and never acted on them. But it isn't stigma keeping those people from going to treatment, mental illness like this usually "doesn't need help" in the mind of the ill until it is forced upon it.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    A) were using before they got treatment
    I just got hung up on that bit and was thinking all pedos were likely users of their drug.
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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Quote Originally Posted by Theend View Post
    A) were using before they got treatment
    I just got hung up on that bit and was thinking all pedos were likely users of their drug.
    No I said that addicts were using before they got treatment. If pedos are using before they get help it's too late. It's a comment on why substance abuse treatment is different than pedo treatment.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    There was a Salon article that has since been removed -- I think this is an archive of it -- that might be more along the lines of what you're thinking about.

    Who am I? Nice to meet you. My name is Todd Nickerson, and I’m a pedophile. Does that surprise you? Yeah, not many of us are willing to share our story, for good reason. To confess a sexual attraction to children is to lay claim to the most reviled status on the planet, one that effectively ends any chance you have of living a normal life. Yet, I’m not the monster you think me to be. I’ve never touched a child sexually in my life and never will, nor do I use child pornography.

    But isn’t that the definition of a pedophile, you may ask, someone who molests kids? Not really. Although “pedophile” and “child molester” have often been used interchangeably in the media, and there is some overlap, at base, a pedophile is someone who’s sexually attracted to children. That’s it. There’s no inherent reason he must act on those desires with real children. Some pedophiles certainly do, but many of us don’t. Because the powerful taboo keeps us in hiding, it’s impossible to know how many non-offending pedophiles are out there, but signs indicate there are a lot of us, and too often we suffer in silence.

    ---✂️---

    The long-held belief that pedophiles are destined to abuse kids is a tough one to overcome, yet many of us get just as upset as—if not more upset than—non-pedophiles when we read accounts of sexual abuse, not only because we hate when one of the little people we love most suffers, but also because, whenever yet another pedophile is arrested, it reinforces the reigning paradigm of the pedo as ticking time bomb.

    For better or worse—mostly worse—we have this sexuality, and unlike with most sexualities, there is no ethical way we can fully actualize our sexual longings. Our desires and feelings, if we are to remain upright, are doomed from the outset. Indeed, whereas the majority of crimes can be bounced back from, society doesn’t extend a mulligan to molesters. I understand why, but that doesn’t make the burden any lighter to bear, particularly for those of us who have minimal or no attraction to adults. And for the pedos who are lucky enough to be able to form working relationships with adults, there are a new set of concerns: What if we have children? Will I be a threat to them? Can I ever share this fact with my spouse? Can I ever love and want her as much as I do a child?

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    I understand his point, but I still got a little nauseous at the phrase mulligan for molesters.

    And that article would suggest mental health therapy for pedophiles is as likely to succeed as therapy to keep you from being gay.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Quote Originally Posted by mikec View Post
    I understand his point, but I still got a little nauseous at the phrase mulligan for molesters.

    And that article would suggest mental health therapy for pedophiles is as likely to succeed as therapy to keep you from being gay.
    I would suggest that if someone has no sexual attraction to adults and they should undergo voluntary chemical castration.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Quote Originally Posted by iNCY View Post
    I would suggest that if someone has no sexual attraction to adults and they should undergo voluntary chemical castration.
    Can't see a lot of people lining up around the door to volunteer for that one. lol.

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Quote Originally Posted by iNCY View Post
    I would suggest that if someone has no sexual attraction to adults and they should undergo voluntary chemical castration.
    Including asexual people?


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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Quote Originally Posted by Oncall View Post
    Including asexual people?
    Oh yes that's exactly what I was referencing in light of this thread, great deductive reasoning...

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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    isn't there a connection between people who have sexual dysfunction and likeliness of further deviancy?
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    Default Re: Pedophobes

    Quote Originally Posted by Michinokudriver View Post
    There was a Salon article that has since been removed -- I think this is an archive of it -- that might be more along the lines of what you're thinking about.

    Who am I? Nice to meet you. My name is Todd Nickerson, and I’m a pedophile. Does that surprise you? Yeah, not many of us are willing to share our story, for good reason. To confess a sexual attraction to children is to lay claim to the most reviled status on the planet, one that effectively ends any chance you have of living a normal life. Yet, I’m not the monster you think me to be. I’ve never touched a child sexually in my life and never will, nor do I use child pornography.

    But isn’t that the definition of a pedophile, you may ask, someone who molests kids? Not really. Although “pedophile” and “child molester” have often been used interchangeably in the media, and there is some overlap, at base, a pedophile is someone who’s sexually attracted to children. That’s it. There’s no inherent reason he must act on those desires with real children. Some pedophiles certainly do, but many of us don’t. Because the powerful taboo keeps us in hiding, it’s impossible to know how many non-offending pedophiles are out there, but signs indicate there are a lot of us, and too often we suffer in silence.

    ---✂️---

    The long-held belief that pedophiles are destined to abuse kids is a tough one to overcome, yet many of us get just as upset as—if not more upset than—non-pedophiles when we read accounts of sexual abuse, not only because we hate when one of the little people we love most suffers, but also because, whenever yet another pedophile is arrested, it reinforces the reigning paradigm of the pedo as ticking time bomb.

    For better or worse—mostly worse—we have this sexuality, and unlike with most sexualities, there is no ethical way we can fully actualize our sexual longings. Our desires and feelings, if we are to remain upright, are doomed from the outset. Indeed, whereas the majority of crimes can be bounced back from, society doesn’t extend a mulligan to molesters. I understand why, but that doesn’t make the burden any lighter to bear, particularly for those of us who have minimal or no attraction to adults. And for the pedos who are lucky enough to be able to form working relationships with adults, there are a new set of concerns: What if we have children? Will I be a threat to them? Can I ever share this fact with my spouse? Can I ever love and want her as much as I do a child?




    This letter sounds like a documentary I saw about a guy who admitted having the same issues. Believe it or not, in Germany there is an organization(s) that run PSA's with the goal of getting pedophiles to seek therapy before they act on their impulses or commit suicide which is common. Basically the PSA's state that your sexual feelings aren't your fault, but acting on them will be criminal.
    The saddest aspect of the whole thing is how cyclical in nature pedophilia is. The majority of pedophiles were once victims. Many neuroscientist believes that when a child is molested, a chemical change occurs in the brain which makes that kid much more likely to become a pedophile as an adult. Of course, many of those scientist won't go on the record stating this as some people will think they are sympathizing with pedophiles when they are just trying to explain the science behind it. Apparently if you try to understand what motivates a deviant, then you are somehow endorsing that deviant. Many agents in the FBI have stated that estimates on the number of pedophiles in the USA were extremely low prior to the internet being a source for them to exploit. The FBI agents couldn't believe the number of pedophiles once they started to monitor the internet. A lot of child pornography is marketed for those in the United States because the states are where the money is. I have seen some places that claim that 4% of the population has pedophilia like urges. I'm not sure I believe that number, but its a bigger problem than many people assume. Therefore, there should be a non-demonizing way for these people to get help. However, the line between therapeutic help and tolerance for their actions needs to be clearly defined. My sympathy stops the second they cave in to their urges.
    Last edited by bischoffs brain; 06-02-2017 at 01:00 PM.

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