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NFL Week Two Discussion : Featuring the 2017 Pain Rankings!

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  • NFL Week Two Discussion : Featuring the 2017 Pain Rankings!

    Week one of the NFL came and went with a whimper , some teams won and some teams lost - but a few teams had to have crushed any hopes and dreams their fanbase might of had heading into the 2017 season. I'm going to give you who I feel is the fanbase feeling the worst right now , after week one.

    1. Cincinnati Bengals - The only thing worse than a 20-0 nothing home loss to a division rival is knowing that you are going to continue to wheel out Andy Dalton and Marvin Lewis out there for the next 16 weeks , giving no hope to a team that has more than likely peaked years ago. If I were a Bengals fan I would have very little to look forward too going forward.

    2. Houston Texans - The city of Houston was ravaged by storms and no doubt this was an emotional game for them and the fans. Coming out and laying an egg and benching the starting quarterback you've been showning confidence in all offseason was no doubt a punch in the gut to a fanbase with such high expectations coming into the season. The only thing keeping them from my top spot is young rookie Deshaun Watson getting poised to take over the reins.

    3. Los Angeles Chargers - They have a good argument for being 1 or 2 on this list , but their late rally at least gave the fans some light as to what his team is capable of and their defense did start to get things figured out. The fact is though that the Chargers are now like 1-9 in their last ten games decided by one score and they keep finding new ways to lose has to count for something - along with the fact they moved from San Diego.

    4. Arizona Cardinals - It took merely 3 quarters of football to see the wind taken completely out of the Cardinals sail for 2017. Not only did their superstar running back go down with a wrist injury that could cost him and the Cardinals the season , but Carson Palmer looked his age and the offensive line looks like it could be one of the worst in the league.

    5a. New York Giants - Despite having one of the best offenses in the NFL that hasn't scored over 20 points in like 8 games , the Giants came out against a division rival and looked lost without their superstar receiver on Sunday Night. The offense line might have actually gotten worse and Eli isn't the quarterback to overcome other offensive limitations. They rank five only because ODB is scheduled to return and hopefully spark this offense.

    5b. Indianapolis Colts - It was a toss up for me between the Giants and Colts so I decided to essentially put them in a tie , with both teams getting a very important player back in the near future. The Colts have a horrible roster , but they also have Andrew Luck and at least having a true franchise quarterback for another decade is something to be excited about , even if the other 52 players and head coach on the roster need to be shown the door.

  • #2
    Great post. I probably wouldn't put Indy in there, just because only a delusional fan would think they had a chance this season. I was dumb enough to pick them to beat the Rams this week, but only because I didn't think the Rams were going to progress on offense.

    For your 1 & 2, one of those teams is picking up a win this Thursday. The team that needs the win the most is the Bengals. If the Texans lose, they still get to see either the Titans or Jags pick up an L this week. They can easily still be a game behind for the division lead. If (and I'll say when) the Bengals lose, they're going to be 2 behind possibly both Baltimore and Pittsburgh. This really is a must win for Cincinnati, but I have more faith in Houston having a bounce back performance then I do Cincinnati.

    GOTW is probably going to be GB and ATL. I'll say this about the Falcons, they're fucked. Green Bay looked great and ATL barely survived against a shitty Chicago team. If the D of GB can hold it together again, ATL is in serious trouble.

    As for the Giants, they better fucking beat the Lions. Matt Stafford is a savage in the 4th quarter and if the Giants can't keep their offense on the field for longer then 3 & outs, they will surely tire out their D enough for Stafford to go off in the 4th quarter again. No excuses for the Giants this Monday.

    Comment


    • #3
      The fact that Colts fans had hope is what landed them on the list , their future isn't as bleak as others on the list though. At least they have hope for future seasons. The Browns missing the list is the real story - but they played a division rival tough as hell and were in that game - props to them for that and coming out strong. Houston has the quickest route off this list with Watson coming in and playing the Bengals but that was still a terrible Week One.

      I think it should be the GOTW but I don't think Atlanta should be scared at all , in fact I think Green Bay has the pressure on them and found out first hand what happens when you open an opponents new stadium in Week 2 last season. Their defense is FAST and that can cause the Packers a lot of trouble and their offense is going to be a much better test for this defense than Seattles. I think whoever hold their oppenent under 24 wins this game - hopefully it's the Packers.

      The Giants could be in trouble again , the Lions proved they can be a good defense when beating up on a poor offensive line in Arizona - and the Giants might be one of the few that are worse. Then again Stafford against that defense could get knocked around quite a bit too. It's going to be a low scoring game , I don't know if either team scores over 20.

      Comment


      • #4
        Also the Packers released Ladarius Gunter this week , which makes me kind of sad despite the fact that he was probably never very good. He was however our best cornerback last season - which isn't saying much becaue or corners were terrible but for an UDFA he went out there and fucking battled. The stretch of games where he was asked to defend ODB , Dez and Julio in three games was more than anyone could ever of asked in an UDFA and while he obviously struggled he busted his ass and made some plays.

        Dumb Packer fans were far too hard on him and refused to put things in context. I wish him well in the future - I think he can be a solid #2 corner for some team out there.

        Comment


        • #5
          I'd put Arizona #1 on my list. DJ was practically their entire offence, so combining his long term loss with Carson Palmer just looking plain old and I think the idea that they were still in a championship window has completely been extinguished.

          Houston and Cincinnati were always going to be .500ish teams so I don't see things changing for them too much after their losses. Houston spent all offseason trying to convince everyone that Tom Savage was a legitimate starter even though he'd never done anything to back that up, and outside of Nuk they have no receiving options (and literally no TEs for this weeks game) but they have a strong enough defence that they still have a chance to win their weak division. I give the Bengals a slight pass for their Week 1 because Baltimore's defence is a legitimate top-5 unit, but their offensive line is a shambles and will likely struggle to hold up against Watt and Clowney.

          My opinion of the Chargers also hasn't changed too much, they're a decent team in a strong division that will have some flashy moments but just don't have the "winning edge". Their complete lack of urgency and clock management ruined their chance of what could have been a real season-setting statement win.

          The Giants were woeful on Sunday night but the defence is good enough to win games for them. Odell will make a difference and you'd think Brandon Marshall will at least be something of a factor, but there is a fundamental problem on offence that is clearly not going to fix itself, and the schedule is absolutely brutal.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm here to do my weekly pickem thing. I never got a chance to talk about the MNF games before they started and here were my predictions....

            The Saints would come into this game with one thing in mind. Feed Adrian Peterson! After AP runs for over 100 yards and 2 TDs, Drew Brees would seal the deal with 2 passing TDs of his own. All in all, Vikings D gets worn out by their sorry offense. Saints to win 34-10. Boy, was I wrong.

            The Broncos and Chargers would square off in a tight game. Like last season, someway and somehow, the Chargers would find a way to lose in the most ridiculous way. Maybe a fumble on a kneel down returned for a GW TD by Von Miller. Somehow and someway, the Chargers will find a way to lose 27-23. Close enough!

            UT handled the responsibility of nailing upset fan bases after Week 1. One big takeaway is the genius of the Cowboys to get pretty much every good O-Linemen from everyone in the NFL. There are so many teams with shitty O-Lines, it's weird. After an abysmal 6-9 week in pickem for me, I am here to right my wrongs! I mean, who would've thought that the Bills, Rams and Jaguars would be at the top of their divisions alone?! Not me! No more picking from the heart! Let's try the gut!


            Houston Texans @ Cincinnati Bengals
            - Speaking of guts, both of these teams showed none of it last week. Instead, both were trounced and kicked in their guts by division rivals. Both teams looked terrible on offense. Both teams, I picked to win last week. Most proudly, I picked the Texans to dominate and give the Houston people something to cheer for. Maybe the past few weeks was too much for them to focus on football. Who knows? Both teams have a chance on a short week to right their wrongs immediately.

            Who will the Houston Texans start? Will Andy Dalton continue throwing interceptions? Either way, I predict this to be another rough week for both offenses. I think the shitty O-Line of Cincinnati plays a huge part in Andy Dalton having zero time to make a play. I think the injuries may hurt the Texans coming into this game and I think Deshaun Watson is flustered with the lack of O-Line help as he gets the start. I honestly had to change my pick a few times, but I'm going to settle with my pick.

            I don't think starting Deshaun Watson is going to make a huge difference. I don't think Andy Dalton has a magnificent performance. Suspensions have hurt Cincinnati, but I think they have the better offense. Watson could be set up for failure out there as Hopkins isn't going to win them this game alone. The injuries, drama and now the Cushing 10 game suspension has me thinking this is going to be a long and sad year for te Texans fanbase. If the Bengals do lose this game, Marvin Lewis will be uncomfortably sitting on the hottest seat in the NFL after just two weeks. I think Dalton has more weapons and I think the Bengals win a close, but brutally boring low scoring affair.
            Cincinnati Bengals win 17-12


            Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars
            - Marcus Marriota looked like he was going to make last week a big moment for him in the first half. They went a perfect 6/6 on 3rd downs and it looked like this game was going to go down to the wire. Then the 2nd half happened and they couldn't get a thing going. Do I think it's something to worry about? Absolutely not. The Oakland Raiders are legit and are really going to have a serious chance to bring a Super Bowl trophy to the city of Oakland before they leave. The Tennessee Titans are still young and will find ways to win games this season.

            The Jacksonville Jaguars were by far the biggest surprise of the week. Not only did they beat the Houston Texans at home with the whole city and state cheering against them; they absolutely dominated them! Blake Bortles got to go under the radar and Fournette became the first rookie RB to rush for 100 yards in his first career start as a Jaguar. The biggest surprise and threat, however, was their defense. A team that many may have predicted are a good 3-5 years from competing for the division came out in the opening game and tore the fucking place apart. Maybe it's too soon to use that kind of language with any of those two teams, but you get the point.

            However, Week 2 is time for a reality check. If the Jaguars can win this game at home, then Jacksonville will be absolutely wet in excitement. Boo! I'm a dick. However, I don't think it happens. The Titans won't be caught off guard by this Jaguars team and Marriota is the best active starter in that division. He will find his weapons and make big plays. Once Marriota learns to use his weapons, he is going to be a beast. The Jaguars will play tough, but in the end, we will have ourselves a 1-1 tie at the top of this division. I know the Jags barely had Allen Robinson last week, but going into a game with a gameplan of Lee and Hurns as your top 2 WRs is not going to be fun for Bortles. Fournette will do his best, but this will go the Titans way. It does have the potential to be another "upset" and Jacksonville could be 2-0 with everyone at 0-2 in their division. We'll see.
            Tennesee Titans win 26-19


            Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens
            - My wildest prediction of the season was that the Browns would have a better record then the Ravens. Then I got reminded that the Ravens D is still no fucking joke. Sometimes you gamble and you win and sometimes your face gets redder then Dalton. The Ravens lost Woodhead and are not really looking good at the RB spot. They'll depend on Flacco to win more now.

            The Browns look like they're ready to give their fans something to cheer for and were nearly the biggest surprise of Week 1. I'm not sure if this is the exact week they get that long awaited W and I'd be tempted to pick them if this was a home game, but ahhh, I can't do it. I'm picking with the gut. I expect Kizer to play tough and hit Coleman for a TD bomb that makes it a one score game at the end. But sir Tucker and sir Flacco should do enough to get to a 2-0 start.
            Baltimore Ravens win 26-10


            Buffalo Bills @ Carolina Panthers
            - The Buffalo Bills have walked into Week 2 the lone dogs at the top of their division. The sad tale of the season will be, "at one point, the Bills who are a top 5 pick in the draft had a better record then the Patriots and a 1/2 game division lead!" Let's not all forget that this Bills team beat a shitty Jets team and minus McCoy, didn't even look great doing so. This is going to be Shadys team and shit, maybe he plays good enough where he screws them out of a top 7 pick by winning some games on his feet. Still, they are not a good team and people shouldn't get too excited from a Week 1 performance.

            As for the Carolina Panthers, I have a reminder. Remember the year they made the Super Bowl and I literally picked against them every week because I didn't think they were a good team and I was wrong time and time again? Well, I think I figured out what it is. I just don't like Cam Newton. I actually hate him. It just hit me. I hate his diva fueled arrogance, I hate his choice of clothing and I hate that he truly believes that he's Clark Kent. I actually hated him in college and hate him in the NFL. I hate the fact that I should like him because I historically love superstar black QBs that are mobile ala Young, McNair and even Winston. I just don't like Cam. I see right through his phony ass. His brother pulled off the biggest FCS upset in college football history for Howard last week and I think I'm going to hate him too. The Newtons are like the original Ball family, except worse. Weird right?

            I don't think the Panthers proved anything last week against the 49ers. They are being gift wrapped another win here with an easy match up, but they better wake up before they start facing their division rivals. Cam needs to find Benjamin more then once and he needs to take a backseat to his 2 RBs a little more. Let Stewart and McCaffrey really take over games. He's going to try too hard to put on the cape sooner or later and it's going to cost his team. This ones too easy of a win for Carolina for me to pick with my heart. It sucks, too, because I love McCaffrey and really like Keuchly and Benjamin. It's just fucking Cam the Scam. Panthers will win an unnecessarily close game.
            Carolina Panthers win 27-21


            Arizona Cardinals @ Indianapolis Colts
            - If ever there was a time for the Arizona Cardinals to catch a break, it's now. After the news of David Johnson being out for a few months, this is the exact match up that they need. The Indianapolis Colts went out there with a rookie Center and a first time starter at QB. I picked them to win and I was so off. This week, or until Luck comes back, I will not do that.

            Arizona resigned Chris Johnson, which makes the Titans fan in me happy. He probably won't play too much and the Cards will rely more on Carson Palmer then anything. I think Arizona will be alright this season and am hoping they can still make noise. They let Stafford put them away in the 4th quarter last week in a game they could've won. I don't think Arizona gets upset here. They just need to play on egg shells and avoid that injury bug that's been stinging them since last season. I'll say Fitzgerald catches a TD pass and Brisset keeps it close until the Honey Badger returns one for a Pick 6 to put it away with under 3 minutes to go, ending the upset watch. Arizona leaves with a win, but a displeasing performance.
            Arizona Cardinals win 27-17


            Philadelphia Eagles @ Kansas City Chiefs
            - Carson Wentz made those unbearable Philadelphia fans believe last week. Alex Smith saved himself from the word "Mahomes" last week. Both teams pulled off some impressive victories last week with outstanding QB play. Beating the Redskins, though; well that may not be such a big thing this season for teams. They lack weapons.

            Beating the Patriots in Week 1? Now that's special. Especially the way the Chiefs did it. Hill and Hunt made HR a happy fantasy camper last week and gave KC a weekend of joy knowing they just knocked off last years Super Bowl champions in dominating fashion. Still, KC fans know not to get too excited. They're used to good seasons, as the Eagles once were, but it's the playoffs. It's the playoffs where Andy Reid turns into Garfield and chokes. Yes, he made it to the Super Bowl, but he and McNabb managed to suck, swallow and choke on live National television on their final drive. Fortunately for the KC fans, this isn't the playoffs and this is a home game that I'm confident they will pull of a victory. I don't see Hunt being able to pull off the same performance as last week, but expect Kelce to be the 100+ yard receiver this week with a pair of TDs. It'll be close, but KC holds on at the end of this one.
            Kansas City Chiefs win 30-23


            New England Patriots @ New Orleans Saints
            - Who saw the Patriots getting whooped like they did last week coming? Nobody. A historically bad opening game performance. Bill Belichecks worst opening game performance as a HC when it comes to points by the opposing team. Crazy.

            Speaking of crazy, that's what Sean Payton was last week. His 3 headed RB machine was so poorly managed and he should make an open apology to Adrian Peterson and his fans who had to see the legend limited to 6 rushes for 18 yards. No RB ran for more then 18 yards. Since Sean Payton poorly managed the running game, future HOFer Drew Brees was made to look average. The dudes #3 in TD passes behind only Bret Favre and Peyton Manning in his career and he only had 1 last week. I put the blame on Sean Payton.

            It doesn't get easier for Sean Payton and the Saints this week. They have to face a very angry New England Patriots squad. Not sure if it was mentioned in the other thread or not, but the last 3 times the Patriots started their season with an opening game loss; they won the Super Bowl. So all the overreacting needs to stop. Everyone seems to be cheering for Father Time to beat Tom Brady, but Tom Brady is the GOAT. Somehow Sean Payron will mismanage this matchup between two legendary, future HOF QBs and piss off Adrian Peterson again. Shit, I think AP ends with the Patriots before this season ends. The Patriots are going to start off red hot on offense and the Saints will be playing catch up throughout. The Patriots should win this one, easily. I expect Gronk and Cooks to both have huge games here.
            New England Patriots win 41-21


            Minnesota Vikings @ Pittsburgh Steelers
            - Everyone seems to have fallen in love with the Vikings after their Week 1 performance. I didn't. I put that on Sean Payton and the MNF stage. Sam Bradford looked great, but that was against the Saints defense. Let's not get too ahead of ourselves with that. He proved late last season to be the most scared starting QB in the league. He's going to remain scared when he sees the Steelers defense coming at him.

            I said it during the draft and after the draft; how the fuck did every NFL team let the Steelers draft Lil Watt?! Of course he was going to be a beast in the NFL. It's in his genes! He was my pick to win DROTY and he already got that shit in the bag after his record breaking debut. I don't think he's going to stop yet, either. This Steelers D is going to be good this season. Say what you want about their close call against the Browns, but this team is still my pick to win it all. I don't think the Purple Eaters are going to let Leveon Bell go off and have a huge game, but Antonio Brown will continue to be a beast. I'm sure Martavis Bryant will get more looks, too. Big Ben, in my opinion, is playing his final season in the NFL so I'm watching closely.

            I think Sam Bradford gets rattled early and makes some costly mistakes. The Vikings D will try and keep it close, but they'll run out of gas trying to stop a stacked offense. Antonio Bryant will score a pair of TDs in this one and go for over 150, again. He's going to be breaking some records this season. Keep an eye on that. I don't think the Vikings stand a chance, especially on the road.
            Pittsburgh Steelers win 27-17


            Chicago Bears @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
            - The stories heading into this game is that the Bears almost beat the defending NFC Champions and that this is the opening game for the Buccaneers with former Buc Mike Glennon playing against them. Those three things combined have many people predicting this to be the upset of the week.

            Not from me.

            I know the Bears have a stingy D that kept a hold on Julio Jones and the explosive Falcons offense last week. I'm sure they'll lock down Mike Evans this week, too. That's fine, because that'll open the gates for Desean Jackson to make some huge plays. Jameis Winston is going to make some plays with his feet, as well. The offseason chatter has been about the leader Winston has become and grown into and I expect to see it from him on the field. If this was a road game for TB, maybe I would buy into the upset fuss, but not at home. It won't be a high scoring affair and the new 2 headed running game in Chicago may help keep it close, but Glennon isn't going to be the one who returns to his former team and knocks them out. Chicago will be better this season, but they ain't winning this one. I expect a passing TD to Desean and a rushing TD from Winston. He'll have to do more as the season progresses, but it'll be enough to win here. Another close, low scoring game.
            Tampa Bay Buccaneers win 17-10


            Miami Dolphins @ Los Angeles Chargers
            - The first game of the season for the Jay Cutler-led Miami Dolphins will take place in the first game for the Chargers in LA. Welcome to the bright lights of history, Jay Cutler! And you thought you were just going to broadcast. Ha.

            This game is tough to call. The Chargers looked really bad in the first 3 quarters. Joey Bosa should be a nightmare in welcoming Cutler to the AFC in this game. I expect the Dolphins to give Jay Ajayi a lot of yards and it should work. CJ Anderson put together a pretty good game against the Chargers and Ajayi is way better.

            Main Chargers fashion, they lost a heartbreaker. That's how their first bunch of games went last season. I like Rivers and I like Gates and I like Keenan Allen. I don't know why they have such bad luck. I think that bad luck continues and Cutler wins his debut performance as a Miami Dolphin. The Chargers will find a way to lose this one at the end.
            Miami Dolphins win 27-23


            New York Jets @ Oakland Raiders
            - The Jets were as bad as everyone thought they'd be. Man, it really blows to have this team thrown in your face every week on CBS. It's hard to watch.

            Luckily for us New Yorkers, we get a free watch of the black and silver! Everyone's new favorite team, except ORaider who decided to stop liking them when they got good again. Then again, he's busy in court cases with Trump. Anyways, Derek Carr looked good after his injury and they get a nice exhibition game right here. Marshawn Lynch will get his first scoring TD of the season at home and Amari Cooper will haul in a pair. Janikowskis replacement goes a perfect 3/3 from FG range and everyone wonders if he'll ever get replaced by Janikowski again. Oh, drama! The Jets are going to muster a FG and that's all as Khalil Mack leads the Raiders D to a shutdown performance.
            Oakland Raiders win 38-3

            I'll do the rest later. I need to get back some motivation to keep writing. Agree/disagree with my rote fictions? Feel free to speak.

            Comment


            • #7
              How many did you get in pick'em W1 Kid?

              Comment


              • #8
                An astounding 6-9!

                To be fair, I should've went with the Rams and Eagles. I should've went with my gut and not my heart. 8-7 would've been nicer. I expect perfection this week, though.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by HR View Post
                  I'd put Arizona #1 on my list. DJ was practically their entire offence, so combining his long term loss with Carson Palmer just looking plain old and I think the idea that they were still in a championship window has completely been extinguished.

                  Houston and Cincinnati were always going to be .500ish teams so I don't see things changing for them too much after their losses. Houston spent all offseason trying to convince everyone that Tom Savage was a legitimate starter even though he'd never done anything to back that up, and outside of Nuk they have no receiving options (and literally no TEs for this weeks game) but they have a strong enough defence that they still have a chance to win their weak division. I give the Bengals a slight pass for their Week 1 because Baltimore's defence is a legitimate top-5 unit, but their offensive line is a shambles and will likely struggle to hold up against Watt and Clowney.

                  My opinion of the Chargers also hasn't changed too much, they're a decent team in a strong division that will have some flashy moments but just don't have the "winning edge". Their complete lack of urgency and clock management ruined their chance of what could have been a real season-setting statement win.

                  The Giants were woeful on Sunday night but the defence is good enough to win games for them. Odell will make a difference and you'd think Brandon Marshall will at least be something of a factor, but there is a fundamental problem on offence that is clearly not going to fix itself, and the schedule is absolutely brutal.
                  Houston fans no doubt expected more than 8-8 and as you said , they spent all offseason trying to convince people that Tom Savage WAS REAL , and it took a half of football for them to pretty much admit they were lying. That has to be a punch in the gut.

                  With Cincy they just witnessed an embarrassing loss , their quarterback turned the ball over 5 times and it was just a salty reminder that their team is going nowhere. 8-8 isn't much or any better than bottoming out when you don't really have much hope for the long term future - with a lame duck coach.

                  The Chargers like I said have like like 10 one score games in the last two seasons , that weighs on a fanbase when they find new ways to do it. I still think the Chargers can bounce back but the "here we go again" mentality has to be there.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Texans kick a FG to go up 3-0 towards the end of the first quarter, Mike Tirico: "this might be an insurmountable lead".

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Houston want to be real careful with Watson, it is patently clear that he is simply not ready to play yet. He's got happy feet in the pocket and appears to have a real lack of velocity on his throws. Obviously he has potential but you don't want to ruin him by allowing him to get in to bad habits that he can't break.

                      Bengals need to just continue to throw to AJ Green - plays to anyone else are just resulting in nothing.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Impressive fortitude from the rookie though, he took a brutal sack from Geno Atkins and then bounced back a couple of plays later to run right through the Cinci defence for a long TD. Some terrible attempts at tackling, but I guess that's the upside that the Texans coaching staff will point to that Savage simply doesn't give them.

                        6 quarters without a touchdown now for the Bengals. Dalton just doesn't look good at all. A couple of half decent plays in the two minute drill, but not much else, and one of the worst overthrows I think I've ever seen missing a wide-open Green.

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                        • #13
                          This game was great for one 3 minute stretch. It's been trash otherwise.

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                          • #14
                            The Bungles are worse than usual, and I didn't think that was possible.

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                            • #15
                              I don't think Marvin Lewis is gonna come back after this season. I think this Bengal team looks as bad as before he arrived.

                              Still My Champ
                              Thanks, surrender.

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