Starting from the beginning...
- Don't tell me what Jarrett's saying - SHOW me. Summarised promos are one of the worst things you could do to your fed, as you can't build up a character in 'em. I like Bret Hart in your TNA, if only because it's nice to pretend he never went to the WWE. Unfortunately in this alternative universe, we still have the 6-sided ring.
- Great group of talent in the tag division - don't waste 'em. Need more detail in the matches; not contest-wise, but for explanations. For example, Max did a somersault onto Kendrick, from the apron... was Brian outside the ring, or inside? Eddie Guerrero used to do a somersault from the outside, in, so I'm unsure. Hard to figure out what's happening in these type of matches, so be sure to make them very rare occurances. I was a lil' afraid that Kendrick and London would win, so I'm glad they're not getting wins right away, as it would devalue the guys already in TNA.
Also a note at this time: I don't know anything about the teams so far, when it comes to being in your fed. Who's face? Who's heel? How do they look? How do they come out? What's their music? All important stuff to mention from time to time, so people can envision what's happening. If you read a good book, the author makes sure that you can imagine the scene. Or else it's just text.
- Thank christ we can revert to a time, where AJ Styles wasn't paired up with Ric Flair. Summarised promo... making me want to skip it. Don't care about Tanahashi. So he was brought in for a 'dream' match one time and didn't make any sort of impact what-so-ever; I'm guessing that's why you've got him here. Jeff Hardy I can take or leave. I love him on a tag with his brother, or in the hardcore division, but... well, I'll give you a chance here. His promo was the drizzling shits; "I'm back TNA!" For a lil' positivity: I do like a 'special' 3-way for the Title. Makes the show stand out as bigger than the normal ones. BTW, might want to actually give us something about who the hell Tanahashi is. He's some Japanese guy at the moment.
- I like the build-up of Bret, instead of just bringing him out.
- Glad Red lose his title, because I don't like him without his doo-rag. He was awesome on the weekly PPV's, but now he's just... there. Not to say that I like Dinero, though - but that's neither here, nor there.
- I did like the Knockout's having a scrag fight on the outside. It's easy to forget about them as extras. Unsure about the lack of DQ because of the Beautiful People ENTERING the ring and attacking a participant. Not the idea of the match.
- British Invasion can go suck a dick. We've got Brutus, who is boring. The roided guy who looks interesting, but will go nowhere and poor Doug Williams, who is brilliant but ultimately stuck with these guys. I want them to defend their titles, if only to lose them.
- 'Mick foley comes to the ring and introduces Bret 'The Hitman' Hart!' Wow... not a great way to make it sound exciting. It's not everyday that Bret Hart joins your wrestling company, y'know. Bret doesn't have any personality, so it'll be hard to ever give you a negative review of what he says. REALLY like Bret and Kurt Angle getting into something. Like, really. I enjoyed their exchange a lot, and it gives me the first nod that you've got some talent. RVD debuting is cool. Not a big fan, but him and Kurt should be fun.
- Beer Money could be one of the biggest teams in history, if booked right. They could either be massive faces, or heels. Didn't expect them to win, especially with the earlier title change. I'd like to see the technical name of finisher in brackets, because I don't watch TNA and can't visualise the action.
- Forget Desmond... Nigel McGuinness all the way, baby. I just can't stand the James Bond knockoff. I don't see any potential in Matt Morgan, so you can already see where this is going. BIG surprise with Wolfe winning; I guess you'll be giving him a fair shot, which is a plus. Clearly you were trying to put the match across as a tough contest, but lack of detail kept it from being believable. If you wrote about their toughness, their weariness, their pride, will to win, etc. then it would came across a lot better.
- Hart giving AJ a rub is good. Doesn't stop them from sounding like robots, though.
- Raven is probably my favourite character in wrestling. He fuckin' RULES! But this was an absolutely paint-by-numbers Raven promo. He's depressed, chaos, anarchy, etc. I'm really looking forward to what you do with him, though, so don't take this as a reeeeal negative. BTW, drop everyone he's associated with. Especially Stevie. Christ, he sucks.
- When Steiner talks, it can ONLY be funny. Although it was just a sentence, that was EXACTLY how he talks. Him frankly telling Christopher Daniels that he was starting the match was brilliant. BTW, Steiner and Daniels on a tag makes zero sense. SO bizarre. I like James Mitchell, but despise the whole LOLZ CLICK IT R DOOMSDAY gimmick. It just seems so cartoony. I wish Abyss was just a mute monster, like old days. I guess Daniels is going to join Abyss and Mitchell, which could be interesting.
- Hate World Elite. Love LAX reforming. Love Hernandez winning the title, but it should be temporary so that LAX can go for the Tag Titles. LOOOOOVE Eric Young starting something with Bret Hart. I think if you kind of weave Bret into multiple storylines, it would enhance the show as a whole. Kind of like Hogan's involvement at the moment, where everything's tied in, except... you know... try not to make it crap.
- Hardy receives 'countless' elbows to the head, yet seconds later positions AJ for the Twist of Fate? Anyway, glad AJ retained... not interested at all in Tanahashi and high chances that I never will be. Jeff is much in the same boat.
First impressions are... not good, with strong potential. First, the format is ugly and disorganised. The show seemed like a lot of shit thrown against the wall, with some potential gold amongst it, hidden by the feces. If you can manage to scrape it off, and I hope in the future shows it turns out you DID manage to turn it right around, then that'd be great. So here's to the second show!
- Bret does a good job of sounding official, grateful and just genuinely nice. I hope if he ends up turning heel, it's going to be a LONG time in the future, because this is a great change of pace. Angle comes to the ring, which of course is good for me because I see massive possibilities with this feud. Hart turning Angle's complaints back on him was interesting but asking him if he respects himself, well... that was weird. I think it was just a slip, though, so I'll choose to ignore it.
- I'd probably get rid of commentators altogether. I don't mean DON'T HAVE THEM... just don't write any lines for them. If you need them to add something to a situation, give us a summarised version of what they discuss. Most commentary is just plain awful, with it being crowbar'd in regardless of the flow of the show. No offense, but you're not good at writing them, either.
- I'm a fan of Lynn, and have long since waited for him to get a proper chance to shine in Fan Fic. I'd do it, but unfortunately there's a LONG line of people that are more interesting than him - so that will be the hurdle you'll need to jump, to make him work. He sounded very goofy. Like when a Father tries to act cool around his Son and friends, but everyone just thinks he's lame. Lynn says it all starts now... 'Now' asks Borash? 'NOW!' replies Jerry. Except NOTHING happens now.
- Davey Richards is one of those untapped resources in Fan Fic. A couple of years ago, I had big ideas for CM Punk and Samoa Joe - but I left it too long, and now everyone uses Punk, and a lot use Joe. The ideas that would've been brilliant then, are suddenly cookie cutter. Take Davey and make him one of the guys people remember you for. Petey Williams... despite using him myself, he's definitely a 'hit the Canadian Destroyer and fuck off' kind of guy. Senshi is awesome, although I do hate the name.
And Mistico... wow. I don't understand the point of bringing him, or ANY of the AAA guys in. What does Mistico add? Yes, he's legendary for being able to do pointless things, such as rotate 4 billion times before executing a headscissors, but he's a waste of space. You won't be able to do anything with him at all and he's hopelessly generic, like all those pure luchadors.
- Pope's Pimpin' Party could be good, or embarrasing.
- Although I was pleased that on the first show, you managed to make the Knockouts seem like they've got something going on... I just realised I really don't care. I'm one of those assholes, who think women should stick to managerial duties only.
- Add commercials to your shows. Put them in specific spots, to not only prevent it from looking all mushed together, but also to give it the feel of it being a legit show.
- I like Petey sticking up for Bret, and hopefully this traps World Elite in a midcard storyline. I hate 'em, but at least this way they can't do too much damage to me. BTW, Petey talking about Canadians being the best in the World doesn't work when you just lost a match.
- Konnan managed to not really say anything. Like Beer Money, LAX have limitless potential so long as you handle 'em right.
- The Tag match seemed like an afterthought, like you'd finished writing your show and forgot to advance their characters, so decided to just chuck 'em in there. London and Kendrick are going to need some characters, because right now they're just 'the team that consists of Paul London and Brian Kendrick'. BTW, you need to explain their tag team name.
- The RVD promo worked. I don't like 'pulling back the curtains' by saying that other companies he worked in wouldn't let him do what he wants. Kayfabe, he can do ANYTHING he wants, within the rules of the match.
- Hopefully Chris Harris only came back to be fed to Abyss. If he's not in America's Most Wanted, he should be shown the curb.
- Rookie mistake: Matt Morgan was NOT pinned by Desmond Wolfe... he was forced to submit. The DNA of TNA sounds sexual. Perhaps a lil' nasty.
- As expected, the Pope's party was a complete failure. First off, Jay Lethal without the Macho Man gimmick = I'M GOING TO BED. Honestly, he was boring as shit in ROH and wouldn't have gotten over, if it wasn't for Samoa Joe. I don't want to see Lethal with OR without the Macho gimmick, personally, but it was a nice way to setup a match at Genesis. I'm left confused by 'Jerry Lynn gave you a title shot'. Did I miss something here? Is Jerry Lynn in charge of the X Division, or will he be wrestling? If he's a sort of 'division manager', well that's actually REALLY cool and original.
- Even Steiner talking couldn't fix that lump of crud. Honestly, Daniels, haven't you given up on TNA figuring out the OBVIOUS way to use you yet? Instead you're teamed up with Scott Steiner, which doesn't even BEGIN to make sense, in a completely random tag match against two guys who have already went from being in the Main Event challenging for the TNA World Title, to... this. Wow.
- Honestly, every single one of your matches have been confusing. You MUST give me the positioning of all men, at all times. Hit as many moves as you want, I CANNOT follow it if I don't know where people are situated. Tanahashi steals the pin from his partner, which will hopefully lead to a 'Both participants will be Fired, regardless of the outcome' match.
- Raven was better this week, but it still feels like by-the-books Raven, instead of REAL emotion.
- Check your spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. The format is bad enough, but the lack of those things really makes your fed look amateurish.
- WTF? Kurt has the Ankle Lock slapped on and the referee counts to NINE all up?! Rob Van Dam has a legitimate complaint, if he wanted to bring it up. Incorporate selling into your matches, it adds a tremendous amount of depth to your matches, characters and storylines. The ending sucked a fat one... it's not really a 5* with Kurt underneath - it's Angle falling back, with RVD landing on top. Yeah, it'll knock the wind out of you and I believe it to be a good enough excuse for Rob to win the match, but it's absolutely not worth the aftermath you describe. Despite receiving an overhead belly-to-belly from the top rope, it's a splash on Kurt Angle that that causes them both to be knocked unconscious?
The show was... not better than last week. But I did see a ton of small changes, that lead me to believe the shows will get much better, at least when it comes to presentation.