Originally Posted by Jack Crist (a.k.a. “The Dave Metzler of SEX”)SEX: LIVE! (05/18/2009)
John Cena and Bobby Lashley come out. They both want revenge on Brock Lesnar for his actions from last week. HBK comes out and grants them both the opportunity to exact their revenge in a tag team match against Lesnar. HBK announces that Lesnar will partner with Randy Orton, who now holds the contract for a title shot that was previously held by Lashley. HBK leaves, and Cena and Lashley shake hands in the ring as they begin to discuss strategy for their match.
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews the Motor City Machine Guns -- Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin. Shelley & Sabin complain about The Miz & John Morrison cheating to win their match last week. Shelley & Sabin promise to ensure that The Miz & Morrison will not be able to cheat their way to a match for the SEX Tag Team Championship at Evolution. Shelley & Sabin conclude the interview with a promise to become SEX Tag Team Champions before The Miz & Morrison.
The first match of the evening features Matt Hardy & Jeff Hardy versus The Miz & John Morrison. Jeff receives a huge pop. Matt, however, receives a mixed reaction. The Miz & Morrison receive more heat than usual as the audience recalls that they cheated to advance this far in the mini-tournament to determine who will challenge Paul London & Brian Kendrick for the SEX Tag Team Championship at Evolution. Matt lectures Jeff about how to win prior to the match.
Matt refuses to tag Jeff into the match, and The Miz & Morrison dominate the match as a result. Matt eventually tags Jeff into the match, and Jeff immediately clears the ring. The Miz & Morrison resort to underhanded tactics to regain their momentum, but Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin rush to the ring to prevent them from cheating. Jeff plants The Miz with a Twist of Fate to secure the pinfall. A brawl erupts after the match between The Miz & Morrison and Shelley & Sabin.
HBK summons CM Punk, Samoa Joe, and Paul London & Brian Kendrick to his office. HBK announces that Paul London & Brian Kendrick will compete in a non-title tag team match against CM Punk and Samoa Joe to prepare for their match against Matt Hardy & Jeff Hardy at Evolution. HBK explains that the match will also give CM Punk and Samoa Joe an opportunity to vent their pent-up aggression and prepare for their match against each other at Evolution as well.
The second match of the evening features AJ Styles versus Edge. This match is a rubber match, with Styles and Edge holding a victory over each other. Prior to the match, Edge informs Styles that he will be put in his place as a “loser and a nobody.” Styles lets his actions speak for him in the ring. The third encounter between Styles and Edge is arguably the best. The action is intense, and the fans remain on the edge of their seats throughout the entire match.
Styles frustrates Edge with his tenacity and resiliency. As his frustration mounts, Edge loses his composure. Edge retrieves a chair from ringside, but Christian rushes to the ring to prevent Edge from using it. Edge and Christian argue at ringside, which enables Styles to launch a successful air strike. Styles knocks the chair into Edge’s face with a suicide dive through the ropes. Christian rolls Edge into the ring for Styles, and Styles covers Edge to secure the pinfall.
The third match of the evening features Paul London & Brian Kendrick versus CM Punk & Samoa Joe. The dynamics of each team generates high tension during the match. All four men are reluctant to tag their partners into the match throughout the bout. Despite their differences, the history between Punk and Joe gives them good chemistry as a tag team. In the end, Kendrick abandons London in the ring. Joe plants London with a Capture Buster to secure the pinfall.
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews Brock Lesnar and Randy Orton about teaming together tonight against John Cena and Bobby Lashley. Lesnar and Orton echo each other as they stroke their egos. Lesnar thanks Cena for keeping his belt warm for him, and he claims that tonight is only a preview of Evolution. Orton displays his contract for a title shot and claims that whoever emerges from Evolution as the SEX Heavyweight Champion should still be on his toes.
The fourth match of the evening features Gregory Helms versus Shannon Moore. Both men receive a pop from the audience. No one wants to see either man lose his job, but JBL confirms that is the fate that awaits the loser of this match. The match features ten minutes of back-and-forth action with plenty of chain wrestling. Ultimately, Helms plants Moore with a Reversal of Fortune to secure the pinfall. Despite winning, Helms does not celebrate after the match.
Backstage, Edge confronts Christian about interfering in his match against AJ Styles. Edge holds an ice pack against his forehead. Christian claims that he was returning the favor to Edge from last week. Christian also claims that it will always been an eye for an eye because that’s how he rolls. Edge claims that Christian interfered because Christian is jealous of him. Edge claims that Christian will never be able to accomplish half of the things that Edge has in his career.
Triple H comes out to introduce a video package. The video package features highlights from Batista’s career. Batista is portrayed as the animal of Evolution. Batista wins the Royal Rumble, defies Triple H, defeats him for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 21, and retains his title in Hell in a Cell. Batista battles Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero, JBL, HBK, John Cena, and Edge in the ring. The video package concludes with Batista pinning Orton.
The final match of the evening features John Cena & Bobby Lashley versus Brock Lesnar & Randy Orton. Both teams work surprisingly well together. Lesnar & Orton employ a vicious psychology as they work together to inflict as much damage as possible upon Cena & Lashley. In turn, Cena & Lashley focus their efforts on Lesnar to exact their revenge. Ultimately, Lesnar suffers as much as he can handle at the hands of Cena & Lashley.
Lesnar abandons Orton just as Kendrick abandoned London earlier in the night. Orton is left to fend for himself. Although he counters the FU and plants Cena with an RKO, Orton cannot secure the pinfall. Lashley plants Orton with a Dominator to secure the pinfall. Lashley begins to celebrate, but Lesnar returns to the ring after the match and plants him with an F5. The show ends with Lesnar standing tall over Orton and Cena & Lashley.
QUICK RESULTS FOR SEX: LIVE! (05/18/2009):
- Matt Hardy & Jeff Hardy defeat The Miz & John Morrison via pinfall.
- AJ Styles defeats Edge via pinfall.
- CM Punk & Samoa Joe defeat Paul London & Brian Kendrick via pinfall.
- Gregory Helms defeats Shannon Moore via pinfall.
- John Cena & Bobby Lashley defeat Brock Lesnar & Randy Orton via pinfall.That's it for this episode of SEX: LIVE! I hope everyone else enjoyed the show as much as I did!