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Thread: Funny Naive Stories

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    Default Funny Naive Stories

    Share some stories that are funny because of how naive you were.

    Here's one of mine:

    When I was new to sex, my partner told me she was getting over her period. But I didn't register what that meant.



    Things were going well at first.



    So when I pulled my penis out and it was all bloody. I thought, oh my God! Did I injure my penis? I thought I was hurt



    She had to remind me that it wasn't me, it was her.

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    Yang Xiao Long fangirl Mistress's Avatar

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    Default Re: Funny Naive Stories

    My mom never had the pms talk with me nor did she let me take the class that our schools offer to explain it to us.

    So when I got my first period in middle school, I had an anxiety attack and had to be picked up by my grandma.

    Imagine a kid aged 12-15, going to school and suddenly overcome with a serious tummyache. She heads to the bathroom, sees blood everywhere and all over her clothes. I thought I was dying. I ran to the office and demanded they call the hospital and send an ambulance. My principal, a female, took me into her office and closed the door. After multiple attempts contacting my mom, we called my grandma instead. When my grandmother showed up, I was hyperventilating in a bag. I thought I was going to die.

    Scared the shit out of me

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    Default Re: Funny Naive Stories

    I love this kinda stuff. Especially sexually naive stuff. I remember being on the monkey bars with a group of slightly older kids and they were talking about eating a girl out. I never blew my cover but my mind was like, "there's food in there?"
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    Man with a Plan Ness's Avatar

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    Default Re: Funny Naive Stories

    When I was a kid I thought you were literally not allowed to drink any liquids while the car was moving. Got really mad at my Dad when he sipped that Dr. Pepper.

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    Default Re: Funny Naive Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Ness View Post
    When I was a kid I thought you were literally not allowed to drink any liquids while the car was moving. Got really mad at my Dad when he sipped that Dr. Pepper.
    As long as it's non-alcoholic​ "Dr. Pepper", I think you're good to drive.

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    Default Re: Funny Naive Stories

    I've been hopelessly naive for most of my life but don't have a lot of great stories about it.

    A few weeks ago though I was teaching a class and a woman commented that she was on a self-sufficient farm which meant she shouldn't have to participate with welfare to work requirements. I asked "if it's self sufficient, you wouldn't need this money". She said "oh it just provides for food" and I responded "I have my job to provide for food too..." and then realized she meant her farm was her slaughtering cows to provide food. I was sad.

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    Default Re: Funny Naive Stories

    When I was in 7th grade I used to go to the movies with this girl and she would ask me before hand "how many buttons should I wear on my shirt" and I would just sit there and feel her boob though out the movie. Never really making out. Just massaging her boob. I wouldn't really get much out of it. I look back at it and laugh. How randomly uneventful for both of us that must have been. She must've gotten a 2% tingle out of it and I remember getting more of a charge slow dancing withj girls than that at the time. I didn't even know the goodness of a boob at the time I was cupping one through Joe Vs The Volcano.
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