Ladies and Gentlmen, I wanna confirm the news that everyone has heard since the thread went up.
Yes, I, Mad Dog Bartholemew Smith, have entered the Royal Rumble this year. And also, I have a match with Lony. I guy who I don't know but for some reason really wants to fight me.
I'll get to Lony here but I just wanted to say first ... as I have in the past, my days in the Colliseum are coming to end. I'm in the twilight of my career, and I wanna thank the people at PW for giving me these last few shots at doing what I love. Wrestling for the fine fans of the PW. And wrestling fans in general.
I wanna promise everybody that subscribes to the Rumble on the PW Network, I'm in fantastic shape, you'll see that at the uncoming unsolicited weigh-in I insist on doing before all My matches.
My hair is amazing. YOu'll see it at the weigh in. My girl Sharkiesha has really out done herself.
At the rumble I will be wearing tights sponsored by Dunkin' Donuts. I'm clearly the perfect spokesman for that company as they try to improve their image and get that sweet, sweet Starbucks money. My tights will be the color Rebel Red. And my make up will be entirely cruelty free.
Now about Lony ... I don't know what Lony's problem is with me. I don't even know who Lony is. I've never seen him before in my life.
But that being said, I have a lot of weird stalkers. If I get to give one the thrill of getting in the ring with his idol, that's fine. I'll try to put on a good show without hurting him too much.
Thank you everyone, I look forward to seeing ya'll at the Rumble.