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Thread: Your Pet Theories About Wrestlers' Personas

  1. #1
    Moderately Moderating Michinokudriver's Avatar
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    Default Your Pet Theories About Wrestlers' Personas

    For the longest time, I have been convinced Damien Sandow is not actually all that smart.

    Mostly because Elbow of Disdain does not translate as Cubito Aequet; if you misspell disdain as you run it through Google Translate you get aequet.

    Also, when he was doing his ask a fan three questions bit he misquoted an English poet and so I am now imagining Damien Sandow frantically Wiki-ing trivia before heading out to the ring.

    But it's not enough to say HE MUST BE A FAKE. There has to be some reason why he would go to all this trouble; you don't just do stuff like this for no real reason.

    Then he cut that promo about his ancestors being advisers to Presidents and helping draft the Declaration of Independence or some such thing. And then it struck me -- he's the intellectual stunted child of the family. While the rest of Clan Sandow can solve Rubik's cubes in seconds or speak six languages or make strides into string theory, little Damien was an average to above-average kid with a physical mean streak.

    Damien Sandow can't be the smartest guy at the family reunion and it kills him. The topic at the picnic table revolves around increasing the solar panel to electricity conversion rate and he's all "I use solar power to heat water" and they just pat him on the head and give him a ball to play with.



    So instead he seeks out what he thinks are the lowest of the dregs -- 'rasslin fans -- and tries to lord over us with his good-but-not-great IQ.


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    There is absolutely nothing to back this up, but I want ADR/Ricardo to have a Robb Stark / Jon Snow vibe going.

    For those unfamiliar with Game of Thrones:

    Bastards are not allowed to inherit their father's lands or titles, and have no claims to the privileges of their father's House. It is up to their father on how to raise or treat them: at worst they are unacknowledged and ignored, though they may fare better and be discreetly sent funds to ensure their well-being. At best, a lord will acknowledge his bastard child, but send them away to one of his distant castles to be raised away from his lawful family. For bastard children to be raised by their father in his own castle alongside his trueborn children is considered extremely unusual.
    So Ricardo, as a bastard child, will never be able to inherit any land or money from the del Rio house. He is legally a second-class citizen at best and this is why ADR treated him like a piece of gum you'd find on your shoe, until he came to his senses and embraced Ricardo as the brother he truly is.

    Also, this opens up some new possibilities if/when Alberto's actual brother Memo Montenegro is called up from FCW.

    -------------------------

    So that's all I've got. Anyone wanna take a stab at Ryback/Skip Sheffield's backstory?

    Nominee: PW's Most Knowledgeable Poster, 2006
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  2. #2
    Now residing in the 256 BestInThe205's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Pet Theories About Wrestlers' Personas

    THIS IS GREAT.
    (Mucho credit to Bender)

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